Cutting in Line

A few weeks ago, a dear friend of mine got engaged (shout out Kelly!). I, of course, gave her three full days to revel in the glow of her new ring before hounding her with planning details and questions of wedding madness. Much to my surprise, she had yet to figure out when she would like to have this most precious event in her life, but it wasn’t because she hadn’t thought about it. The fact is, her future husband’s brother is engaged and has been engaged for quite some time, and he and his fiancé will not wed until May of 2013. Kelly’s fear is that she is suppose to wait until after May of 2013 before getting married since the other couple was engaged first. Can anyone guess my rule of thumb on this one? Yep, that’s right – YOU SNOOZE, YOU LOSE!

In this situation, by the time this other couple gets married, they will have been engaged for two years, which is their decision. But in the wedding world of waiting your turn, anything after a year is open season. Some couples are waiting to finish school, or move out of state, or start their careers. Does this mean that every bride should put her plans on hold because her best friend is marrying a doctor-to-be and they decided to be engaged for 5 years? No way!

For poor ole’ Kelly who got engaged early July, a Spring wedding is her first choice. If she were to wait on her future in laws, she’d have to be engaged for a year and a half and that just won’t fly for her. I say, get while the getting’ is good. As long as she does not make the wedding within a month of their wedding, she is fine. A March wedding would be the latest she could have it without interfering with the other couple. And as long as she doesn’t cross schedules in terms of showers, etc., she is good to go.

When it comes to multiple sisters being engaged at the same time, things can get a bit trickier, but a lot of that falls on the poor father who may be footing the bill for both weddings, which is a totally different topic all together. But as it relates to what order brides get married based on who was engaged first, you get married when you want to get married. There’s something to be said for the bride who has a three month engagement in order to beat her younger sister to the altar, but in most situations, timing is what it is and it’s just a preference of season or scheduling.

In any case, just be considerate of scheduling and making sure there’s enough time for you to get back from your honeymoon or them to get back from their honeymoon, etc (a month’s time to separate the events should be fine). Be considerate of showers and guests that are invited to both events and be considerate of the fact that there is another bride in your presence also going thru the planning and excitement that you are feeling (you may not be center of attention for the entire engagement), but other than that, pick your date and go for it!