The Money Dance

I had a client call today asking for some etiquette clarification pertaining to the planning of her daughter's upcoming wedding. It seemed that the bride and her mother were on two different pages for many of the traditions/new fads that are out in the wedding world. One of the main topics of disagreement was the money dance. Of course, the bride and the groom want it and the mother of the bride says NO WAY! The question is, is this a tacky way of getting extra honeymoon money or a long standing tradition that your guests look forward to?
First, let’s discuss what the money dance really is. According to Wikipedia, “The money dance, dollar dance, or apron dance is an event at some wedding receptions in various cultures. During a money dance, male guests pay to dance briefly with the bride, and sometimes female guests pay to dance with the groom. The custom originated in Poland in the early 1900s in immigrant neighborhoods. Sometimes guests are told that the money will be used for the bride and groom's honeymoon or to give them a little extra cash with which to set up housekeeping.”
While Poland is mentioned as one of the main cultures associated with the money dance, there are other cultures that embrace this wedding event as a tradition of support and wealth for the new couple. Although the gesture of extra cash for your honeymoon or the start to your nest egg is sometimes seen as an expected offering at weddings, there are people out there who see it as greedy on the part of the newly married couple.
The feeling is that your guests have given you a wedding gift, and in some cases, much more, so why keep putting out your hands for more. The argument up North can always circle around the fact that most guests give cash as their actual gift so this is simply a way for the guests to present it to the bride and groom. My feeling is that if a guest or family member were going to give money as a wedding gift, they would give it whether there is a money dance or not.
When it comes to my experiences here in New Orleans, I typically see the money dance from younger couples just out of college, give or take a few instances. For the most part, I find the parents to be against this traditional wedding dance, but it is no surprise that the bride and groom fight to have it.
I have to plead the fifth on this topic as I am not sure that I can judge a cultural or family tradition, as is often the reason a couple may decide to keep the money dance as a part of their wedding reception. Just like so many traditions before this one, someone saw this done at a Polish wedding and decided it was a great way to make money at their wedding reception. Unfortunately because it turned from tradition to fad, there are bad feelings toward what started off as a way to celebrate and support a newly married couple.
From an etiquette point of view, if you have no cultural or traditional reason to include the money dance, leave it out. It tends to look tacky when you reach for reasons for your guests to reach into their pockets.